


with all the love in the world

by vai_the_trooper



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23614480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vai_the_trooper/pseuds/vai_the_trooper
Summary: Nayeon pays Jeongyeon a visit after being away for a while.
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Yoo Jeongyeon
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71





	with all the love in the world

“Ma, someone’s at the door!” Jeongyeon called out after hearing the doorbell ring. “I’m gonna go see who it is.”

“Oh! It’s okay honey, just stay put.” Jeongyeon’s mom responded. “I’ll go get it. I’m just about done with the dishes anyway.”

“Okay.” Jeongyeon mumbled to herself. She totally could have looked through the peephole and checked who it was. Well, except that she was wheelchair-bound. The physical therapy was going well so far, but it was going to take a while before she could be totally back on her feet.

A few moments later, she received a text message. She reached for her phone on the coffee table and checked who it was.

-

_From: rabbit face_

_im outside open up._

-

Confused, Jeongyeon looked out the window, and there she was, peeking from outside and waving like a maniac. 

_Nayeon._

She felt the anticipation building up inside her as she wheeled herself over to the front door and unlocked it before moving backwards a bit to let Nayeon enter.

“Jeongyeon, I thought I told you- Oh!” Jeongyeon’s mom said as she emerged from the kitchen. “Nayeon! It’s been a while!”

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Yoo.” Nayeon greeted Jeongyeon’s mom as she went over and gave her a warm hug.

“What brings you here? How have you been?” Jeongyeon’s mom asked as she let go.

“I’m doing okay, I guess. I came by to see how Jeongyeon’s been holding up, and um...” Nayeon said before her voice trailed off.

“Is it okay if I take her out today?” She asked softly. “I mean, if you don’t want her to, then-”

“Oh dearie, of course it’s okay!” Jeongyeon’s mom responded almost immediately. “I do think she needs to get some fresh air anyway after being cooped up in here for so long.”

“Ma, come on, it’s only been two months. Besides, we’ve been going out to the physical therapy center every week.” Jeongyeon butted in. “I think I’ve been getting enough fresh air.”

“Aww, Jeong, c’mon. I know you missed me too.” Nayeon said as she crouched down next to her. “I know _I_ missed you.” She said as she put her hand on Jeongyeon’s.

Jeongyeon tried her best to hide it because they were in front of her mom, but the truth was that she _did_ miss Nayeon. A lot. Even though they kept in touch through the internet after the accident, she still yearned to be in Nayeon’s arms.

“Okay, fine, let’s go.” Jeongyeon finally answered. “Good thing I took a bath earlier.”

“Don’t you mean I _helped_ you take a bath earlier?” Jeongyeon’s mom teased.

“Ugh, not in front of Nayeon, Ma!” Jeongyeon complained.

“Heh, you can tell me all about it later, Jeong.” Nayeon said as she moved behind Jeongyeon to push her. “Umm, Mrs. Yoo, may I…?”

“Oh, sure dearie.” Jeongyeon’s mom said as she moved out of the way. “By the way, why don’t you stay for dinner later too? I’m making pot roast.”

“Mmm, pot roast.” Nayeon mused. “Don’t worry ma’am. We’ll be back by dinner.”

“Alright, now have fun you two!” Jeongyeon’s mom said as they left.

“Wow, looks like even Mom missed you a lot too.” Jeongyeon said as they made their way down the ramp and onto the driveway. 

“Well, two months is still quite a while, don’t you think?” Nayeon said as they made their way to the car. “Oh, right, are you-”

“It’s okay, Nayeon. I’m over it.’ Jeongyeon said as they stopped at the passenger side of the car. “It’s not like I developed a car phobia or anything.”

“That’s good to know, or else I would’ve borrowed Dad’s car for nothing.” Nayeon said as she opened the passenger seat door. 

“You’re in luck then.” Jeongyeon said as Nayeon helped her get into the car. “So where are we going?”

“Well, I didn’t really think it through, but I thought we’d go to our favorite ice cream shop. Maybe get some donuts too, then we can go chill at the park.” Nayeon said before she packed up Jeongyeon’s wheelchair to put into the trunk.

_Donuts and ice cream… Damn, it feels like forever ago since we last went on a date like that._ Jeongyeon thought as Nayeon returned from the back of the car. _I guess she’s right. Two months is pretty long._

“Alright, we’re good to go.” Nayeon said as she entered the driver’s seat. “Seat belts buckled, okay?”

“Hold on.” Jeongyeon said, closing the passenger door first before buckling her seat belt. “Okay, it’s buckled now.”

“Okay, okay, good.” Nayeon said as she started the car. Jeongyeon could tell Nayeon was on edge, seeing how tightly she was gripping the steering wheel, and how they haven’t left yet even with the engine finally running.

“You okay?” Jeongyeon asked.

“I umm, yeah, I just need to, take a moment.” Nayeon replied shakily. It was easy to assume that Nayeon had it better when they crashed into a ditch after getting sideswiped by a reckless driver. She made it out with relatively minor injuries while Jeongyeon was the unfortunate one who took the brunt of the impact. However, something else left its mark on Nayeon that night. 

Something just as painful.

_If only she had been more careful. If only she had driven a lot slower. If only she had decided to let Jeongyeon take an Uber._

_If only she had been the one in the wheelchair instead..._

The thoughts howled in her head like hurricane winds unrestrained, overwhelming her senses. She began to draw rapid, shallow breaths, and her grip on the steering wheel tightened until her knuckles turned white. 

But, in every hurricane, there is always an eye, and Jeongyeon always knew how to lead Nayeon back to it.

“Nayeon? Nayeon, stay with me. I’m here. Don’t worry.” Jeongyeon immediately placed her hands on Nayeon’s right hand and held it tight. “Deep breaths, Nayeon. Deep breaths. Focus on me, okay? I’m here. You’ll be okay.” 

It took them some time, but eventually Nayeon managed to calm down enough, letting go of the steering wheel. “I... I’m s-sorry, I-i don’t know why it’s happening again.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I understand.” Jeongyeon said, still holding onto Nayeon’s hand. “It’s been a tough two months for the both of us.”

Nayeon took a deep breath before speaking, tears streaming down her face. “I’m, I’m so sorry Jeongyeon. If I had just been more careful-”

“It’s not your fault, Nayeon.” Jeongyeon reassured her as she cupped her cheeks. “I never blamed you for what happened to us.” 

“But I-”

“Shhhh. It's fine.” Jeongyeon said as she wiped away Nayeon’s tears. “Don’t cry, okay? I’m okay now. I won’t leave you.”

They sat there for a few moments until Nayeon slowly managed to calm down entirely.

“Wanna just hang out at home instead?” She suggested. 

“N-no. Let me just get myself together.” Nayeon said, sniffling. “Wouldn’t wanna let my cute outfit go to waste.”

“That’s more like it.” Jeongyeon said as she chuckled. “Take your time. It’s not like dinner’s gonna go anywhere later, right?”

Nayeon turned to face her and laughed a little, finally managing to smile. _That precious little gummy smile of hers._ Jeongyeon would do anything to never let it fade.

Even if it meant lying to her face.

  
  


\----------------------------------------------

  
  


Jeongyeon stopped Nayeon as she was about to head to the counter of the ice cream shop, tugging on Nayeon’s sleeve as she stood up.

“What’s up? Something wrong?” Nayeon asked.

“Oh, nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to say that maybe we should, you know, try some new flavors.” Jeongyeon said.

“Oooh, feeling a little adventurous today, are we?” Nayeon remarked.

“Yeah, I’m trying to uhh, what do they call it? “Expand my palate”?” Jeongyeon said.

Nayeon looked at Jeongyeon with a mischievous grin and said “Alrighty then, matcha it is!” 

“Eww! Anything but matcha.” Jeongyeon complained. “That’s just leaf ice cream!”

“Well, you asked for it.” Nayeon said before heading to the counter. “Oh and while I’m at it, I might get us some mint chocolate chip too.”

_I think I deserved that one._ Jeongyeon thought to herself as she slumped into her wheelchair. _But if it makes her happy, I’m not gonna complain._

Jeongyeon knew very well what she was doing. It was the first time they saw each other in months and she didn’t want to ruin their day. She wouldn’t be able to handle the tears in Nayeon’s eyes again.

_It’s easier to say that I’m okay. She’s just gonna get hurt either way if the time comes, so I’d rather have us be happy right now._

“Alright, Jeongyeon, here you go.” Nayeon said as she returned with the ice cream. “Some matcha and mint chocolate chip for the both of us.”

“How can you stand these flavors?” Jeongyeon wondered as Nayeon placed the cute cups their ice cream came in on the table.

“How could you not like them though?” Nayeon said as she sat down and handed Jeongyeon a spoon. “People just like to diss these flavors because they can’t appreciate the unique taste.”

“Pfft, spoken like a true food critic.” Jeongyeon remarked as she scooped a spoonful of mint chocolate chip and cautiously put it in her mouth. As much as she wanted to deny it, she genuinely liked it, unconsciously going for a few more spoonfuls in quick succession.

Nayeon looked over at her with a triumphant grin on her face. “Nayeon one, Jeongyeon zero.”

“Alright, I’ll admit.” Jeongyeon said as she momentarily put her spoon in the cup. “The mint chocolate chip wasn’t half bad.”

“Just “not half bad”?” Nayeon interjected.

“Okay, okay, it was pretty good.” Jeongyeon said as she picked her spoon back up to try the matcha next. She scooped a conservative amount onto her spoon and tasted it.

“Huh, it’s not as bad as I remember.” Jeongyeon remarked. “Or maybe the crash just shook my brain up and now I’m not tasting things properly.”

“Ehh, I can tell you liked it too.” Nayeon said as she playfully hit Jeongyeon on the shoulder. “I can see right through you! You can’t lie to me.” 

_God I wish I wasn’t, Nayeon._

“Alright, you got me.” Jeongyeon said as she raised her arms in surrender. “I didn’t think I was missing out on such good flavors.”

“Nayeon two, Jeongyeon zero.” Nayeon said with a cheeky smile.

“And you know what else I was missing out on?” Jeongyeon asked as she wheeled herself closer to Nayeon.

“What?” Nayeon asked. Before she could react, Jeongyeon went in for a kiss on her lips. 

“This.” Jeongyeon said as she pulled back, flashing a mischievous grin of her own. “Nayeon two, Jeongyeon one.” 

“H-hey, come on, there are kids around us.” Nayeon said, sounding a bit out of breath.

Jeongyeon looked around them and indeed there was a small kid staring from the table across them. Realizing Nayeon’s point, she just gave the kid a thumbs up before returning to her ice cream.

. 

After several more minutes, they finished their ice cream and headed out to the donut place a few blocks over. Unfortunately, it was closed for renovation.

“Aww come on.” Nayeon said as they stopped outside the shop. “Out of all the days they could be closed, they had to be closed today.”

“Well that sucks.” Jeongyeon remarked. “I was looking forward to a pink frosted sprinkled donut.”

Nayeon was clearly distressed at this development in their day. She just wanted to spend the day with Jeongyeon at their favorite places after being away from each other for quite a while.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it.” Jeongyeon reassured her. “On the bright side, now we have more alone time in the park.”

“Look at you being such an optimist.” Nayeon remarked as she hugged Jeongyeon from behind, resting her head on Jeongyeon’s shoulder. “I like that.”

_I wish I could do more than just being positive. I’m sorry._

“You do? Then I should’ve known sooner.” Jeongyeon said as she held Nayeon’s hands. “But uhh, I think we should move. We’re literally in the middle of the sidewalk.”

  
  


\---------------------------------

  
  


“Wow, this place has seen better days.” Jeongyeon remarked as Nayeon wheeled her on the beaten gravel path. “Aren’t they supposed to keep the entire park maintained?”

“I’m guessing budget cuts, but it looks like people don’t come to this part of the park too often.” Nayeon said. “Makes our little spot feel a lot more special, doesn’t it?”

“Heh, yeah, it kinda does.” Jeongyeon agreed. “Though I guess they should’ve at least swept up all the leaves on the ground.”

"It's not too bad." Nayeon responded, kicking a few leaves off the path as they continued. "I wouldn’t want our butts to get covered in dirt.”

A few more minutes of walking passed until they finally arrived at an old oak tree: _their_ tree.

On the day that they first said “I love you” to each other as they were having a picnic, Nayeon decided that they should carve their initials into a tree. Sure, it was pretty cheesy and kind of overdone, but Nayeon liked cheesy. She wanted to do it like they do in the movies, so with the help of a rock and a butter knife (which was the only sharp object they had at that moment), they etched a heart with their initials, N and J, inside it. It wasn’t the prettiest, but it was theirs, a cute little symbol of their love.

“God, I remember how mad Mom was when she found the ruined butter knife.” Jeongyeon said as Nayeon helped her get on her feet before sitting down underneath the tree. 

“But we replaced it, didn’t we?” Nayeon asked as she sat down next to her.

“I don’t think so.” Jeongyeon said as she rested her back on the trunk of the tree. “Mom just forgot about it eventually.”

“Oh right.” Nayeon said, inching closer to Jeongyeon. “Well, it’s in the past now. Nothing’s gonna bring back that poor old butter knife.”

“Hey, at least it served a greater purpose in life besides spreading butter.” Jeongyeon remarked. 

Nayeon chuckled at Jeongyeon’s little joke. “ _Greater purpose_. Psh, that’s the first time I ever heard you say that.”

“Yeah... I’m sure you can tell being mostly stuck at home for two months did things to me.” Jeongyeon responded. “Can you believe I even started crocheting?”

“You did?” Nayeon said. “Oh my God, you have to make us hats or something!”

“Actually, I uhh, kinda already did.” Jeongyeon said as she took her phone out from her pocket to show Nayeon a picture of the hat. “I only managed to make yours so far. Haven’t gotten started on mine yet.”

“Oh my God, a purple bunny hat! It’s so cute!” Nayeon exclaimed, giggling out of excitement. “Thanks Jeongyeon. I absolutely _love_ it. Can’t wait to wear it and look cute!”

“Nuh uh, nope.” Jeongyeon said as she put her phone back in her pocket. “I’ll only give it to you when I’m done with mine so we can both look cute.”

“Aww, come on, Jeong. Please?” Nayeon pouted as she rested her head on Jeongyeon’s lap. “Pretty please?”

Jeongyeon can’t help but smile, watching Nayeon act cute to get her way. “No. Your pout and your puppy dog eyes aren’t gonna work this time.”

“Hmph, fine.” Nayeon said, furrowing her eyebrows and frowning as she looked up at Jeongyeon.

“Heh, you’re so cute when you get grumpy.” Jeongyeon said as she ran her fingers through Nayeon’s hair.

_Oh, to be here with you like this. I wish I could stay in this moment with you forever._

Nayeon tried her best, but eventually her expression returned to normal. “Ugh, you’re lucky I don’t like frowning. It’s just gonna give me wrinkles.”

_Maybe I should tell you the truth. But I don’t want you to be sad while I’m here._

Jeongyeon chuckled before planting a kiss on Nayeon’s forehead. “Yeah, you look better when you smile anyway.” 

_I don’t want to see that smile fade, okay?_

Nayeon did indeed smile, the way she always did, and that was enough for her.

  
  


\-----------------------------------

  
  


“Ugh, what’s taking her so long to come back...” Nayeon wondered as she waited for Jeongyeon to return. They had just begun their video call when Jeongyeon’s mom knocked on her door and asked her to come out. After about five minutes, the door opened and Jeongyeon wheeled back into view.

“Yay, you’re back! What was that about?” Nayeon asked as Jeongyeon made it back in front of her computer.

“Oh, t-that was nothing.” Jeongyeon answered. “Mom just wanted to uhh, ask for some tips with crocheting. She got into it too after I started.”

“Huh, neat.” Nayeon responded, but she noticed that Jeongyeon was looking a bit uneasy. “Hey, you okay? You seem tense.” 

“What, me? I’m fine!” Jeongyeon said as she looked around her immediate area. “I’m just, umm, worried that I might have uhh, probably...lost your hat?”

“What?! Yoo Jeongyeon, what do you mean?” Nayeon yelled. “How could you possibly lose something that-”

“Just kidding!” Jeongyeon said as she pulled the hat from behind her monitor and showed it to Nayeon. “Hehe, I got you good, didn’t I?”

“Goddamnit, Jeong. First you don’t give it to me right away and now you pretended to lose it.” Nayeon said as she crossed her arms, visibly annoyed by the joke. 

“Heh, okay, sorry. Won’t happen again.” Jeongyeon said as she threw the hat onto her bed before she reached for something. “Don’t worry, you’re gonna get your hands on it pretty soon.” She said as she showed the green dino hat she was crocheting to Nayeon.

“Aww, it’s adorable!” Nayeon asked as she moved to her bed, carrying her laptop with her. “But when are you gonna be done with it though?”

“Well uhh, I just need to make some small adjustments, finish up some knots, but it’s basically done.” Jeongyeon said. She continued to crochet in silence as Nayeon watched intently. She could watch Jeongyeon do nothing for hours and she’d be totally okay with it. 

“Stop staring, Nayeon. You’re gonna melt me through the screen.” Jeongyeon said without looking up.

“Oh come on, you’re too pretty not to look at.” Nayeon mused. 

“Really now?” She asked as she looked up back on the screen.

“Yeah…” Nayeon responded. She loved moments like this where they’re just enjoying each other’s company. Sure, she’d love to actually be with her, but given their situation, she was content with what they had. A few moments of silence passed before she spoke again. “You know, I’m so lucky to have you, Jeongyeon.”

“I’m so lucky to have _you,_ Nayeon.” Jeongyeon said as she smiled. “Okay, you can keep staring now.” Nayeon giggled at the statement as she obliged.

She took a deep breath before returning to her crocheting. A good amount of time passed until she finally looked up with a proud smile. “It’s done!” She said, presenting the finished green dino hat to Nayeon.”

“Finally!” Nayeon remarked. “So when am I gonna get mine?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you should come visit again.” Jeongyeon responded as she threw the hat onto her bed as well.

“So in a few days then.” Nayeon said. “Aaah, I’m excited to wear it! We’re gonna look so cute in them!”

“Yeah, we would…” Jeongyeon said, her voice trailing off.

“Hey, is everything _really_ okay?” Nayeon asked, noticing the change in Jeongyeon’s expression. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“N-no! I mean, yeah, everything’s okay.” Jeongyeon stuttered. “I just...I just miss you, I guess.”

Nayeon chuckled at what Jeongyeon just said. “Jeongyeon, we’re literally talking to each other right now.”

“Well, yeah, but, it’s different when we’re together.” Jeongyeon responded. 

“I know, I know.” Nayeon said as she moved her laptop and laid on her stomach. “If college didn’t bog me down so much, I would’ve visited you every day.”

“It’s okay, Nayeon. I understand that.” Jeongyeon said as she rested her arms on her desk. “You had to recover too.”

A few moments of silence passed before Jeongyeon reached for a pen and paper on her desk.

“Whatcha writing?” Nayeon inquired.

“O-oh, just a shopping list. Mom asked me to write down things I wanted her to buy for me when they do the groceries this weekend and I almost forgot to do it.” Jeongyeon answered. “So I’m doing it now.”

“Ohh, okay.” Nayeon said as she yawned. “It’s getting pretty late. I think I’m gonna go to sleep now.”

“Okay. Good night, Nayeon.” Jeongyeon said as she looked up from what she was writing.

“Good night, Jeongyeon. I love you.” Nayeon said as she went close to the camera and gave a kiss.

“I love you too. Bye.” Jeongyeon said as she did the same before ending the call.

Nayeon went to sleep happy and content that night. _Everything’s finally looking up for the both of us,_ she thought as she slowly drifted off into sleep.

\--------------------------------------

  
  


It’s been two weeks since their impromptu ice cream date, and Nayeon was finally going to get her hands on the purple bunny hat Jeongyeon made for her.

Except, she didn’t think she’d be getting it at her funeral.

Everything was okay, Nayeon thought. Jeongyeon herself said so during their last video call, so when Jeongyeon’s mom called her to break the news, she didn’t know how to react. She couldn’t believe it. A million questions ran through her head, but one thing slowly became clear:

_Jeongyeon lied about being okay, and Nayeon was complacent enough to have believed it._

She laid there in deafening silence, still trying to make sense of the news. Jeongyeon’s mom told her that Jeongyeon didn’t make it through the surgery, that her heart gave out in the middle of the operation. Nayeon knew she had gone through a reoperation a month ago, but she never said anything about going through another one so soon.

_No wonder Jeongyeon was so uneasy when they were calling. She’d been hiding something all along._

_But, why?_

The thought repeated in her head like a broken record. And yet, there she was, just staring blankly at the ceiling. She thought she’d be feeling something, anything, by now. She expected to feel like everything was crumbling down around her, but she didn’t. 

Even on the day of Jeongyeon’s funeral. Even as she looked at her one last time. Even as she watched the casket being lowered into the ground. Even as Jeongyeon’s parents came over to her and hugged her as they consoled each other; it all felt like a dream. A really, _really_ bad one.

“I’m so sorry, dearie.” Jeongyeon’s mom said to her after the funeral. “How are you holding up?” 

“I, I don’t know.” Nayeon replied softly. “It’s all so sudden. I thought she was gonna be okay.” 

“We thought so too.” Jeongyeon’s mom said. “Will you be alright dearie? Do you want us to drive you home?”

“N-no, I’m okay. Dad’s picking me up.” Nayeon said softly. “I think I should go now-”

“Hold on, there’s something we have to give you.” Jeongyeon’s mom said as she handed Nayeon the small package she had been holding on to. “Jeongyeon left this with us before she… before the operation.” She continued, struggling to hold back tears.

The package was labeled “Nayeon”, written in Jeongyeon’s own neat handwriting. “Thank you.” Nayeon shakily replied. “I-i’ll get going then.”

Without a moment to spare, she headed back to her dad who was waiting in the car. The drive home was silent as Nayeon held the package in her arms, knowing what was inside.

Upon getting home, her parents decided to give her some space, which she was thankful for. They knew they needed to be there for her; seeing their daughter lose someone she loved hurt them just as much. But, they also knew she needed time to grieve on her own, so they didn’t mind if Nayeon went straight to her room without talking to them. 

As she got into her room and locked her door, she went over and sat at the edge of her bed, clutching the small package in her hands. She took a deep breath before tearing open the package’s wrapping, and there they were, a purple bunny hat and a green dino hat.

She stared at them longingly as she held them in her hands, and in that moment, she slowly began to feel. Everything she didn’t feel since the night Jeongyeon’s mom called slowly surfaced. The fact that the hats even smelled like Jeongyeon’s favorite perfume made her feel it all the more. 

She stayed like that for what felt like forever until she noticed a piece of paper sticking out from inside her hat. She pulled it out before putting the hats down on the bed.

_A letter?_ Nayeon realized as she unfolded the paper. _When did she-_

Then it clicked. Jeongyeon wasn’t writing a grocery list that night. 

She was writing a letter to _her_.

With her heart growing heavier by the second and her eyes slowly welling with tears, she mustered up all the strength she could to bring herself to read it.

\--

_Nayeon,_

_I hope you never have to read this letter, but if you do, then I’m guessing I didn’t make it through. I know I lied to you about a lot of things, and you have every right in the world to hate me for it. But, I guess now that I’m gone, you deserve to know the truth. Remember when I got operated on about a month ago? We went back to the doctor for a routine ct scan a week before you came to visit, and when we got the results, everyone was worried. My heart was filling with blood because of an opened suture. Again. Except this time, the cut was smaller so it wasn’t filling as fast. Doc said that if the hole wasn’t gonna get sealed soon, I was bound to collapse again like the first time, and much worse things could happen. But, she also said that my heart had gotten weak from all the damage, and that another surgery so soon was dangerous because it was still recovering from the last one. So basically, I was screwed. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t._

_I’m sure you’re mad at me for not telling you, but I want you to know that I just didn’t want you to worry. Knowing you, you would’ve dropped everything and never leave my side in a constant state of fear. I just wanted us to be happy with the little time I had left. It’s selfish, I know, but I just didn’t want to see you sad, which is pretty ironic because I’m dead now. So let it all out, the anger, the grief, whatever you might be feeling now, but please, I hope you never forget how to smile. How to be happy, you know? Life goes on even when I’m not here anymore, and I don’t want you to spend the rest of yours in grief. I don’t want your precious little gummy smile to ever fade. It’s all I ask._

_So, be happy for me, okay? I’ll see you on the other side. Until we meet again._

_With all the love in the world, Jeongyeon_

_-_

It all came crashing down on her now. The way it all felt like a dream was over, but the reality she woke up to was much worse as she dropped the letter and clutched their hats close to her chest. They were all that’s left that she can hold on to, now that she can’t hold Jeongyeon close anymore. 

Soon, the tears that had taken her too long to shed finally fell. Every single pang of guilt and regret pierced her heart as she crumbled to her knees crying, and in that moment, she finally let out everything.

  
  


\---------------------------------------

  
  


Life happened quickly for Nayeon. It was almost like she just blinked, and then there she was, standing on the stage and accepting her diploma. Soon, she found herself job hunting, and eventually managing to land one. 

But through all that time, even after so much stuff happened, she never forgot about Jeongyeon. Sure, she had been busy, but eventually, she managed to find the time to pay her a visit.

Nayeon held a small bouquet of roses as she approached Jeongyeon’s tombstone. 

“Hey, Jeong. It’s been a while, huh?” She said as she sat down next to it and placed the bouquet in front of it. “I did what you asked and didn’t let myself drown in sadness. It’s what you would’ve wanted, right?”

“I came here to tell you that I just got hired for my first job! And I’m starting next week too! Can you believe it?” She said before pausing and taking a deep sigh. 

“I wish you could’ve been with me. We would’ve both accepted our diplomas, gone looking for jobs together, and-” Nayeon stopped herself, choking up when she realized that she was falling into the same emotional pitfall.  
  


She took a moment to breathe. “Well, it’s pointless to think of what might have been. Like you said, life goes on, and I don’t wanna let you down.”

Nayeon looked down at her watch to check the time. “Ah shoot, I’m sorry Jeongyeon but I have to go.” She said as she stood up and placed her hand on the tombstone.

“I’d stay here and talk for hours about what else has been happening, but I’m sure you’re looking down from up there.” She said as she looked up to the sky, smiling. “You’re always gonna be with me, yeah?”

“Bye now. I love you.” She said before turning around to leave.

And, for the first time, she didn’t feel sad about not hearing it back.

**Author's Note:**

> surprise it's angst! also it's my first time writing angst so i'd appreciate some constructive criticism. thanks!


End file.
